I'm at that age where decisions are kinda-sorta having to be made, and classes kinda-sorta need to start going together and money kinda-sorta needs to be, like, saved. WHYYYYY.
Why is money a thing? Better yet, why do we center our lives around PAPER? Real talk: All money is, IS PAPER. WE ARE DEPENDENT. ON PAPER.
So I want to go to a few places that I can't go to (read: Governors Ball.) I'm planning* to study abroad for my Spring 2015 semester, so money is needed for that. But I want to do fun things NOW! Like concerts. Or spending way too much money on fancy... candles.
I'm kinda caught in a weird place between sorta-teenager and sorta-adult. Being 19, I still have important things I need to, like, make sure I'm feeding myself and bathing, but my apartment, education, and all that other important stuff is paid for by my parents. Studying abroad is paid by them, but not spending money. So, as you can see, the fun things come down to my bank account... aaaaaaaand I'm unemployed. The joys of life! Ah.
This weekend I went to NYC for my first time ever. Yeah, ever. It was amazing, wonderful, exhilarating, everything I thought it'd be, etc. etc. And I realized -- yeah, I'm going to live here probably sometime in my life. Probably, like in the foreseeable future. And yes, that's exciting, and yes that's wonderful but I need a lot of freaking PAPER -- of the money variety.
Sidebar: Here's me throwing myself against the 30 Rock wall because emotions.
Life is actually really, really scary. I'm not going to lie, I'm actually terrified of what's going to happen to me after a graduate. I'm sure EVERYONE is, though. I've invested myself in such a fast-paced and paradoxical environment of constant change, I don't know WHAT the Internet industry is going to be like after I graduate.
Hopefully I can score a really, really cool job in either NYC, LA, London, Somewhere Other Than The Small City of Pittsburgh, or maybe I'll be famous for being myself. That'd be pretty cool.
My parents always tell me I need to stay focused and realize that I need to consider I might never move from Pittsburgh, I might never "make it," I might never be as successful as I want to be. And yes, I get this. But I'm tired of living in the "well, you might"s. Because, quite frankly, they're getting me really down.
I'm going to live in my Internet bubble of social media and video making and reblogging pictures of stupid trees because that's what I like and I want to do what I like regardless of the monetary gain or loss. I'm not tying myself to a tree -- literally. I'm not going to keep stopping myself because of money. Sure, I can't do everything I want to do, like, say drop everything and fly to a different country cause I definitely don't have the funds to singularly do that.
But anyways, this is a really longwinded way of saying that I'm going to start changing my life and do more Internet things featuring italics and be more healthy and happier and screw New Years Resolutions, I'm all about January 22 resolutions.
So, yeah, let's be awesome?
A
* If I get accepted and such**
** I will cry if I don't get accepted. Like, probably until I die. I will cry until I die.
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