There are moments where I have this
unnerving wave of, “Oh my god, I’m in
LONDON” and everything crashes over me at once. Today I had one of those
moments. I was riding the tube in alone to class and sitting there alone,
listening to music, watching people hurry on and off, I felt like I was far away. With my phone, I feel tethered to my real life back at home. But, for some
reason, I had this surge of the reality of the distance and time. I’m really
far away. Like, really far away. I’m here for a long time.*
I’m getting better, though! I feel a lot
more confident. I have a system and structure. I’m exploring a lot of this
city, both on my own time, but also with classes on field excursions.
I’m realizing I’ve set my standards high.
I’ve been obsessed with London for as long as I can honestly remember.
Absolutely enthralled with the
culture, the people, the longed ambiance… and I’m realizing it’s really not all that. Now, it could be I just
haven’t fully immersed myself in this city… or 8-year-old Abby was looking at a
canted angle.
London is one of the most romanticized cities
in the world. It’s beautiful, it’s breathtaking, it’s unbelievable… but so is
Pittsburgh. I’ve learned the value of home after being here. I want American
food. I’m a picky eater… way pickier than I thought. And it’s not me being
materialistic, which I think is how it’s coming across to a lot of people… I
just want mac and cheese, man. And sandwiches without mayo. Or tomatoes. Or
tuna. Sure, I’m clumping “food” with, like, Sainsbury’s and Tesco take away **.
But… I don’t know. I wish I were more adventurous with food. But, I wish I
realized how much I loved home before I came here.
But maybe that’s good. Maybe it’s good that
I realized I love being near my family and I need to be close. I love talking
to my mom multiple times a day. Honestly… I love being American. I don’t know
where this overwhelming pride of being an American came from but here we are. I
love the States… 15-year-old me is gagging.
I’ve been to many cool places! Bath…
Stonehenge… Camden… Shoreditch… I’m happy our program implements both many
weekend excursions, but also in-class ones.
I’m finally getting into the swing of
London… we’re finding out how to save money… where to go… how to relax but also do a lot. I didn’t
realize how overwhelming it is to study abroad. There’s several times a week
where I’m like, “WHAT did I get myself INTO?”
I’ve actually learned several things about
myself. The list as follows:
1. Pittsburgh is a dope (translation for
old folks: cool) city. I love you, Pittsburgh.
2. I am very clingy to my parents. I’m
basically a baby monkey hanging from my mother’s neck. This is fact.
3. I’m really bad at crossing streets. I
may have almost been hit by double decker busses multiple times… sorry, mom and
dad… but pedestrians don’t have the right of way here and I go to school in Oakland where we RUN those streets, am I
right ladies!
4. I love mac and cheese.
5. I love the city… but maybe not
constantly being in the city. I need
a nice tree or bird chirp or sliver of grass here and there to stay sane and
not have the constant paranoia I am in the way of a really expensive looking
businessman or a car.
6. Constant social interaction is not
ideal. Maybe I’m not as extroverted as I thought.
7. I’m obsessed with my phone… but I definitely
already knew this about myself.
I hope none of this comes off as ungrateful
or whiny or annoying or whatever.
Hey, you clicked the link! I am so beyond grateful that my parents are able to
give me the opportunities I have had and continue to have. I don’t regret
coming here in the slightest. But there are bits and pieces that haven’t fully
slotted together and meshed with the rest of me yet.
But! Luckily the parentals will be dropping
in to good ‘ol Londontown in a month’s time (hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and I also
found a store today called… wait for it… THE AMERICAN FOOD STORE… and I spent way too much money on two
boxes of Annie’s mac and cheese, but HOLY HELL, was I craving it.
I’m meeting a lot of cool people and doing
a lot of cool things so! London’s pretty cool.
I’m leaving for PARIS tomorrow morning…
yeah…. Paris. How cool?!
But just wanted to let everyone know I’m
adjusting (and not crying as much, lol) and also I’m alive and also I’m having
fun and also still love over-sharing about my life!!
Okay, I want a Walker’s cookie right now
(shortbread, buttery sliver of HEAVEN)
Bye for now!
Xoxo
A
* far and long relative
** American translation: Giant Eagle
pre-made sandwiches
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