Settling

Hi. I'm in London? I'm sitting on my comfortably worn brown couch that's only really scratchy if you put your skin on it. My friend Luke (our neighbor) is stretched across the next one, lounging as Dad Cat. My roommate Ashley is sitting next to me, engrossed in a novel. My other roommate Chelsea is propped against the heater, sipping a cider, and chatting on Facebook. Tara, our other roommate is somewhere in our "flat" (read: tiny living environment, way too small for 5 people.)And Lexi, is updating her blog.

So, yeah, I've finally made it. I've said for as long as I can remember that I wanted to study abroad, and specifically London. After throwing away my life to Harry Potter at that fetal age of 8, I knew I wanted to go to London.

I'm sitting here trying to summarize my almost week here, and it's hard to encompass it all. I've been at the highest and lowest. The day I left, leaving my parents was by far one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. The few days leading up, I was incredibly unstable. The littlest things were setting me off. From my dog sitting next to me with his head on my leg, to my mom's warming hugs, I just wanted to take everything from home and plop it down in London. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't regretting my decision to come here. To put it simply, I was terrified of change. I used to think that I was a person who longed change and loved being away from home... but change meant changing my sheets, and being away from home means, like, Indiana... or New York City... all 4 hour plane rides top away from home.

Leaving, I composed myself after going through security (read: I hyperventilated while sobbing as I hugged my parents goodbye.) The whole flight situation was all messed up... between our original flight getting cancelled, to them moving us into an earlier flight... we finally reached Chicago. We had about 20 minutes to regroup and eat something before we got on our plane to London. La de da, 9 hours later, I was staring out the window to England countrysides and the London Eye.

After navigating RIDICULOUSLY heavy luggage to the train... then to a cab... we finally reached our flat. And I was exhausted. Another Abby Lesson was in order -- I used to think I can handle exhaustion and limited sleep well... Oh, how I was mistaken. I wasn't my normal self. Without having 3G, my phone was useless. I just wanted to call my mom. I was on the brink of crying in a Starbucks. The WiFi in my flat is unbearably slow, and I can't pick up a strong feed in my room.

Finally, finally, after a crying session in my kitchen to my mother (Skype premium plan is a godsent) and a pub visit (across the street!) with my roommates, we called it a night. I called my parents and said goodnight and went to bed. And then, I woke up at 2 AM without being able to sleep in the slightest. The mattress, springs piercing my back, was unbearable. My pillows, unshapely and shedding, were leaving kinks in my neck. I couldn't take it. I started crying. I wanted my mom. I wanted my dad. I wanted to be home. I just wanted to see my dog and make stupid jokes with Emily, and Danielle, and Lauren and everyone at home. I hated it. I hated it so much.

I went out into the living room, called my mom, and LOST it. Long story short, after a babbling, ugly crying session later, I calmed down.

I'm gonna skip around here. But yeah, I'm okay now. A lot better! I needed sleep and food and better bedding (I had to buy pillows, I'm sleeping on my comforter, and I bought 2 new blankets... ew.) I've toured so much of London. I've walked literal miles upon miles. I've figured out an entirely new transportation system. Then finally today, I had my first class, a film class and I'm feeling really good about it. I bought a British SIM card so I have 3G. I've accepted that I need to be tethered to my "real" world. I need to be able to text my friends at home at beck and call. I need to be able to call my mom when I'm walking down the street. I just need that. And that's okay.

I've learned a LOT about myself in these past few days. I feel stronger and better and more excited about this semester now that I've settled.

WOW, lots of emotion. Also, apparently using this blog again. And also, this was such a blah, downer post. LONDON IS COOL AS HECK. It's SO big and busy and overwhelming and scary and awesome. Every corner of this city is nestled with a bite of history. You can be looking at a building that your great, great, great, great (x10) grandfather walked into and spin around and be staring at your reflection in a swanky, glass, modern office building. It's consantly bustling and the city ebbs and flows and spills out everywhere. It's mass mayhem. And it's incredible.

I can't wait to sink into this city and blend into its stitches seamlessly. I miss home. I miss my parents. I miss my friends and dog and hamburgers and mac and cheese and my coffee pot. But, I'm excited to fully embrace London.

London's calling.